These all contributed to my amazing mood today!
Teacher humor,
Teacher: Can you see God? Class: No. Teacher: Can you touch God? Class: No. Teacher: Then there isn't a God! Student: Sir, can you see your brain? Teacher: No. Student: Can you touch your brain? Teacher: No. Student: So you have no brain!
Teacher leave the room during a test:
Elementary- *silence*
Middle- *whispers* can i have gum?
High school- *yells across the room* hey whats number 1?
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Old people? How original!
Age 5- mom: "honey your goldfish died" You: **cries, cries, cries**
Age 15- mom: "honey your goldfish died" You: "we had a goldfish??"
Grandpa: When i was your age my momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I would come back with 5 bags of potatoes 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk a box of tea and 6 eggs but you cant do that these days too many stupid security cameras
My mums so old fashioned, she thinks LOL means lots of love, one day she sent me a text saying "Grandmas died LOL"
Guy:God, how long is a million years to you?
God:A minute.
Guy:How much is a million dollars to you?
God:A penny.
Guy:Can I have a penny?
God:In a minute.
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BLONDES!!!!!!!! (It's ok, I am a blonde, it is ok for me to like blonde jokes)
Someone Hacked into a Blondes computer account. The password was: MickeyGoofyPlutoDaisyCinderellaShrekDonkeyFionaWashingtonD.C. When asked why she had such a long password she replied that she was told it had to have at least eight characters and one capital.
Blonde: WHO WANTS TO DATE ME AND HURRY?!?!?!
Boy: Why do you want someone to date you?
Blonde: Because in 2012 every SINGLE person would die!!
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body."
"That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean"
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?"
"No I'm a blonde", she replies.
"I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
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Friends!
**Friends**
"Wanna come over?"
"Sure, but let me shower, put makeup on & do my hair first."
**Best friends**
"I'm coming over."
"Okay, but I look like crap."
"I don't care, so do I."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love,
Him: Hey
You (to yourself): Oh my God.. he just texted me.. I wonder what he wants.. maybe he just wants to talk... maybe he's mad at me, i mean all he said was hey... I should just answer him, i don't want to keep him waiting...well maybe i'll wait another 3 minutes so he thinks i'm busy... no, that's too obvious. Could this mean he's into me? Or is he just bored? Either way is fine, i mean i don't care if he likes me back. who said that i even liked him?! i'm just gonna text him back now. Should i reply hi or hey? or hey with three y's? no that's stupid. 2 y's works. He won't know if i did it on purpose or if it was just accidental. Okay. I got this.
Breath in, breath out.
You: Heyy
I'm at Wal*Mart, hair tied up in a bun, no makeup, sweat pants,old t-shirt with paint and holes in it, and slippers. and every time I turn around, HOT GUYS EVERYWHERE.
freakkin lovely.
Girlfriend - Hey!
Boyfriend - I need to speak to you...
Girlfriend - Oh what about?
Boyfriend - I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore...
Girlfriend - What?! *becomes upset*
Boyfriend - I want to be your husband *Pulls out a box and proposes*
Girlfriend - :) ...
Teacher humor,
Teacher: Can you see God? Class: No. Teacher: Can you touch God? Class: No. Teacher: Then there isn't a God! Student: Sir, can you see your brain? Teacher: No. Student: Can you touch your brain? Teacher: No. Student: So you have no brain!
Teacher leave the room during a test:
Elementary- *silence*
Middle- *whispers* can i have gum?
High school- *yells across the room* hey whats number 1?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old people? How original!
Age 5- mom: "honey your goldfish died" You: **cries, cries, cries**
Age 15- mom: "honey your goldfish died" You: "we had a goldfish??"
Grandpa: When i was your age my momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I would come back with 5 bags of potatoes 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk a box of tea and 6 eggs but you cant do that these days too many stupid security cameras
My mums so old fashioned, she thinks LOL means lots of love, one day she sent me a text saying "Grandmas died LOL"
Guy:God, how long is a million years to you?
God:A minute.
Guy:How much is a million dollars to you?
God:A penny.
Guy:Can I have a penny?
God:In a minute.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BLONDES!!!!!!!! (It's ok, I am a blonde, it is ok for me to like blonde jokes)
Someone Hacked into a Blondes computer account. The password was: MickeyGoofyPlutoDaisyCinderellaShrekDonkeyFionaWashingtonD.C. When asked why she had such a long password she replied that she was told it had to have at least eight characters and one capital.
Blonde: WHO WANTS TO DATE ME AND HURRY?!?!?!
Boy: Why do you want someone to date you?
Blonde: Because in 2012 every SINGLE person would die!!
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body."
"That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean"
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?"
"No I'm a blonde", she replies.
"I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friends!
**Friends**
"Wanna come over?"
"Sure, but let me shower, put makeup on & do my hair first."
**Best friends**
"I'm coming over."
"Okay, but I look like crap."
"I don't care, so do I."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Love,
Him: Hey
You (to yourself): Oh my God.. he just texted me.. I wonder what he wants.. maybe he just wants to talk... maybe he's mad at me, i mean all he said was hey... I should just answer him, i don't want to keep him waiting...well maybe i'll wait another 3 minutes so he thinks i'm busy... no, that's too obvious. Could this mean he's into me? Or is he just bored? Either way is fine, i mean i don't care if he likes me back. who said that i even liked him?! i'm just gonna text him back now. Should i reply hi or hey? or hey with three y's? no that's stupid. 2 y's works. He won't know if i did it on purpose or if it was just accidental. Okay. I got this.
Breath in, breath out.
You: Heyy
I'm at Wal*Mart, hair tied up in a bun, no makeup, sweat pants,old t-shirt with paint and holes in it, and slippers. and every time I turn around, HOT GUYS EVERYWHERE.
freakkin lovely.
Girlfriend - Hey!
Boyfriend - I need to speak to you...
Girlfriend - Oh what about?
Boyfriend - I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore...
Girlfriend - What?! *becomes upset*
Boyfriend - I want to be your husband *Pulls out a box and proposes*
Girlfriend - :) ...
