Quote I Live By:

Quote I Live By: “Never frown, even when you’re sad, for you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile.”

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Rain Truths

I wish everyone cheer and love throughout the holiday season! If you are sad, here's something I found on various blogs online that made me laugh with each new sentence! I have no idea where it originated since I found it in a billion different places, but it was too funny to not share with others. 

Truths For Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. 
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 
6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired. 
10. Bad decisions make good stories. 
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever. 
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option. 
21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. 
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. 
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 
25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year? 
29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my life-- everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
33. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
And a Few More I Added!

34. Smiling at a complete stranger can ; 1. Creep out the stranger. 2.Make that person happy. 3. Make you really happy that you made someone else happy. 4. Make you happy because their reaction actually made you smile for real or made you feel weirdly accomplished that you creeped someone out.

35. That moment when you have to get someone a visa gift card for Christmas because you have no idea what to get them. Does it make you a bad friend? NO! it makes you a considerate one, because now your friend won't have to pretend to like a crappy gift. Really we should all give visa gift cards.

36. Hanging up on a sales representative feels better than it should.

37. I'm sorry to bring this to your attention, but you have more than likely spoken to someone on the phone while they were going to the bathroom by now, people do it more than we think.

38. I used to think getting mail was awesome! But now the only things that come in the mail regularly are bills. If I had known that when I was a little kid, my life might be different.

39. About 15 minutes after I've finished using a public computer, usually when it's too late to do anything about it, I then start to worry what the last thing I copied or pasted was, because now, someone else will know what I just copied, pasted or cut. 

40. There will always be someone who dislikes you. There is nothing you can do about it. If there is nothing you can do about it, then we should stop worrying about it!